As children we are taught to share, to help, to do what the teacher says.How many children are taught to say “no,” to allow a friend to figure it out on his or her own, or to disagree with someone in authority?If not, you're just being accommodating."- Rocco Deluca A few weeks ago I was talking to my friend, Harley Flanagan, about my latest kettlebell DVD on fat loss.As many of you know, Harley's the founder of the NYC hardcore band, , and is working on a new CD (which I’m financing) that'll be out soon. But that's a story for another time, so let's get back to the conversation I had with Harley: while Harley likes my DVD, he thinks I'm missing the mainstream market with my personality and teaching style.Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 2012 Digital Edition © William Collins Sons & Co.
Hell, this is the main reason why most movies are forgettable: too much of a corporate cookie-cutter approach that insults the viewer.In fact, a 2010 review of research suggests that women who showed high people-pleasing tendencies (psychologists call it sociotropy) were more likely to feel stress and depression.It stands to reason: "Saying yes all the time can really zap your mood; it can also make you feel resentful and over-committed," says Simon Rego, Psy D, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. If you're someone who occasionally finds it hard to do the latter, well, join the club. At work, our responsibilities are ever-expanding (thanks, never-ending recession), and at home, we feel pressed to help stretched-thin friends and family.
"In this age of constant electronic connectedness, requests are coming at us every waking hour, making it even more important to be able to put your foot down," says Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph D, a clinical psychologist in Weston, Connecticut.
Most of us -- no matter how together we are -- could use help with saying nay.